I don’t feel like I feel love like love ought to feel. It bothers me and nags at me, but mostly it makes me sad. I think about it and why I feel the way I do. What is it that makes me different from everyone else, but then I stop thinking about the way I feel and think about you. You’re not so different or perfect that you feel right all the time, it may be that you don’t feel love always either. You are there and I am here, but sometimes love seems far away and more rare than it ought to feel.
I remind myself, “Love is there”. “Love did not lose me or abandon me.” “Love is greater than I, and though I can’t feel it, it is there for sure.” My feelings settle down in the light of faith and knowing loves power, for love is not merely a feeling. What I feel reveals what I think just now, and I can think some awful things, fearful things, and wrong things, but these passing thoughts are not what I believe and often are contrary to what I know is true. There is no monster under the bed and my friends and family have not rejected me. Most of all, the God who is there, is there still. He will never leave or forsake us, for if He did we would cease to exist.
It was a dark cloud that hid the sunlight and showered drizzling rain on my feelings. It was gusty wind that set me shivering with a cold sadness. However, the light of love can not be extinguished and dispels the darkness of fear. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:18-19) Love is a person and that person is God. He exists as three persons in one: Father God, Yeshua, Messiah who came in human form and Holy Spirit. We also are three-part persons, with a Body, Soul, and Spirit. If you don’t know Him as you should simply read His message as recorded in the Bible, miraculously preserved over thousands of years with demonstrations, illustrations, and examples through the family and nation of Israel, the actual words, life, death and resurrection of Yeshua Messiah (Jesus’ Hebrew name), and the truths and prophecies of the Holy Spirit. Love is reaching out to you. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” (1 John 4:10) Love is caring for you and embracing you, even though you forget or get distracted or feel otherwise.